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Its been a week now

Since that amazing night when I gave him my number and he introduced me to his mom. I was so  happy for days after that, nothing could stop me from smiling. Then I got a tad worried Sunday that maybe he hadn't texted me because of some bad reason, like he didn't even consider me a friend... or I scared him but then Monday I saw him outside mowing and THREE times, he waved smile and said hi, all his initiation so clearly, the idea of me scaring him, isn't true but I can't help but wonder why then... now sure it could be said that maybe he doesn't like to text...but he did tell me he had unlimited texting and he only texted 3 people... or maybe he is truly using it for why I said... when he is ready to help with the dog.... or maybe he didn't keep it... who knows? I HOPE to hell I get to talk to him in the next 4 days before my 10 day trip, or I'll go insane. I miss him talking to him so much already. When I do talk next, I am gonna again make sure he is still on board with the dog and then say something like, well see, thats why I gave you my info, because we don't get to talk that often and its much easier to plan something like this via text or call. Then see what happens. I can't help but think even if he just thinks of me as a nice neighbor... that he wouldn't want me to have his number. TONS of people give their neighbors their numbers, just in case anything ever happens and with his surgery coming up, and his mom limited on what she can do, you think he would want someone to have it... but who knows? Maybe he truly doesn't like me at all, its only my dogs... however... that brings me to this
So lets say for arguments sake... he does only like my dogs.... then WHY talk to me so long? So often and look me in the eye? Most people around here who like my dogs will pet them, talk briefly and be on their way, they certainly don't have at length chats with me. So I am horribly confused if this is the case
Lets also say for arguments sake that he only does think of me as a nice neighbor lady.... again WHY talk to so often and smile and wave all the time? Now sure I don't know what he does every day... or who he talks to etc but from being outside alot with my dogs and being able to hear or see next door, I can tell you, I have only ever seen him talk to 1 other neighbor, a guy. He has known for years... and even then, they don't talk often, its usually late in the day and maybe 20 minutes or so...I have NEVER heard or seen him talk to any of the man's family though and they are outside alot. in fact, a few times i have chatted with him, they have been outside and he doesn't even wave but he waves to the guy when he is out. He told me once about a neighbor who made his mom cookies, and brought them over, HIS MOM not him and this was years ago, so he wasn't living here.. idk. It makes no sense to me really, like if he was so into knowing the neighbors and only thought of me as one, then wouldn't he just wanna casually chat with my family too or the other people near by outside? He seems very much in his own world alot of times. In fact, most times we do end up chatting its because he is out in his garage sitting in a chair, people watching. I just can't see how he would want to talk to me so much, introduce me to his mom, even as a neighbor, its supposedly something no one really does, my family doesn't know her, I can tell you that much.... so confusing
I really wish I knew, up until this whole text thing, I thought at the very least, he liked me as a friend... now I am not even sure of that. I don't wanna ruin things but i can't keep living like this either and only talking by chance... I wish I could get him to text me sometimes, or to do something with me like walk the dogs... but I think he is very shy. Its hard to pull him out of his comfort zone and I think this is honestly why he didn't come to the party. He loves my dog... he thought it was cool and he at least likes talking to me... so why not come?? Shyness. I can bet if we had known each other for years or that I lived alone with the dogs, he would of come. I really truly hope helps with the dog, I need it. I can't seem to find anyone who really gets the whole calm, assertive thing and yet, he just oozes that energy. I even feel it.
Its hilarious that my dad randomly asked me Monday, pointing to his house, "Is he your buddy?" I wanted to say yes...but I really didn't know. I am so confused... I don't wanna mess things up but I don't even know what things are right now. so its tough, all I know, is I am gonna miss him like crazy when I am gone. I need to talk before I leave... and I can only hope he will contact me at least 1x when I am away
Being in love absolutely suks, its only great when you are in the moment with the person, but I guess my situation, chatting by chance, is what makes it suk even more than it being 1 sided and unlikely....


May. 27th, 2012 12:12 pm (UTC)
Is this the guy you were telling me? I have a feeling he was being shy, or was kind of finding it hard to reach out. And so I guess, you should initiate the move, you know, wave to him, talk to him more often, and involve the dogs, until you both establish a comfortable "neighbor relationship", then love will follow. Update me soon!
May. 27th, 2012 12:29 pm (UTC)
It is, I have many entries on him. Since that post, I saw him Friday night and I admit, I was having a horribly bad day myself and just overly stressed so I read too much into everything but for the first time he said no to petting my dog... he says his hands were dirty "but thanks" and I said I leave Tuesday for my trip so he should get his dog fix in before I go "sounds good" but who knows if he will?
Still has not texted or anything, I worry he doesn't trust me. I don't wanna push it but this talking by chance stuff really suks.
Our chat outside friday was also brief, now granted he shared info with me like his surgery date and how long the recovery would be etc without me asking but still, I took it to heart when he didn't wanna see the dog, and he stayed back from us, like wher he was busy working... it felt off. I don't know... but I tend to over annalyze things. I think making the phone number move was a good thing on my part but obviously he didn't take the bait. I am gonna give him a good luck with surgery card before I go since he is having it when I am gone but not sure what else to do. Wont see him for over 10 days once I leave. I had hoped he and I would be texting by now so I could ask him on the day how it went but not sure he wants me to have his number.
Which is odd anyway, even neighbors usually want you to have their numbers in case something happens. Tons or our neighbors have our number. At any rate... I seriously thought and many people did too from everything up to this point that he liked me but now... I honestly have no idea. I don't wanna push it so we will see, what, if anything, happens next